


Sunken Eyes, Sunken Lies

by Gaseth



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angry Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Angst and Feels, Canon but slightly to the left, Dream has minor trauma from the prison, Kissing, Long-Haired Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pining, Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Romantic Tension, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaseth/pseuds/Gaseth
Summary: Dream's right here in front of him. And Sapnap is terrified to confront it all.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 200





	Sunken Eyes, Sunken Lies

Sweat rode down Sapnap's temples and terror flashed through him as his gaze swept over his old friend. His best friend. All of those complicated feelings, late-night talks, hands gently linked, all of those times they hugged and touched and promised that they would always be by each other. Days of battle practice and shattered shields and swinging axes, sweaty bodies pushed right up against each other in a wrestle. Blown-up countries and manipulated children and dead pets. He was staring all of that in the face, right now. In the stupid, smiley-masked face.

"I don't want to talk to you," was the first thing Sapnap said, a boot sliding back on the grass. His fingers danced over the stripped wood of his axe.

"Sapnap," Dream's voice was soft and pleading, "Please, I just want to hear your voice."

"You're hearing it now, aren't you?" the subject snapped, trying to conceal the cold fear that was dripping down his spine like slush, "I don't want to talk to you."

"Yes, you do," Dream quickly said, a hand darting out to catch Sapnap's, "Please, just...stay. For a moment."

"I don't want to," Sapnap would have screamed it if he could, but the words came out raw and strangled in his throat.

"Stay," Dream urged, taking a step forward and spreading his arms out, "I can't hurt you, I don't have a weapon."

"You have your words, and those have hurt me enough," Sapnap bitterly spat back, but it had no power. He felt like he could hardly stand, much less speak. He tightened his grip around his axe.

"I didn't mean that," Dream whispered, "I, you know Tommy. You know he wouldn't listen to anything else."

"You hurt me to hurt Tommy," Sapnap plainly replied, digging a bitten down nail into the handle of his axe and beginning to raise it, "I don't even know why I'm bothering trying to reason with you."

"Sapnap-"

"It's obvious that you're-"

"I swear I'm not going to hurt you-"

"You only want me for your own gain," Sapnap bit back. He dragged his fingers up and down his axe, "You don't care what happens to me."

"Yes, I do!" Dream quickly rushed out, a choked noise rising in the back of his throat, "I thought of you so much in, in there."

_The prison._

"The, I, I could respawn, and I...I did a lot, and I started," Dream cleared his throat and Sapnap swore that he could hear the tears starting to well in his fr- enemy's eyes, "I went into the lava. It felt-felt like your hugs."

Horror washed through Sapnap. He weakly stammered out, "My hugs?"

"Yeah," Dream looked at the ground, then traced his gaze back up to Sapnap, "The prison was awful, Sapnap."

"Yeah," the subject said. His body still ran high with suspiscion. He kept his axe raised just in case, "I don't..."

The two only stared at each other in silence. Sapnap ready to raise his axe and strike at any moment. Dream seemingly prepared for the blow. The former was prepared to leap and strike his old friend in the heart. Or maybe he should run forward in a big hug and try to wrong that rights? Was he in love? Or did he hate Dream? He decided on disgust, "I hate you."

"Sapnap-"

"I hate you," Sapnap was snarling it as his axe gained more power. Dream would have lost most of the fighting skills and strength he had in the prison. Sapnap could easily kill him and get away with it. Probably even be rewarded for it.

"No, you don't," Dream responded, taking a step back, but it was levelled out with a boot forward from Sapnap.

The axe was raised and being swung down. Sapnap braced himself for a gasp of pain or the sound of someone stumbling to the ground or the harsh crack of skull. But it never came. Instead, there were cold hands on him. One on his chest, one gripping the handle of the axe. He felt his heart leap at the sight. Dream looking as strong as ever, his gaze completely cold and and serious as he gazed down at Sapnap. Why did that make his heart stutter? The axe was thrown down and then a hand gripped Sapnap's wrist.

Sapnap began to try and shake Dream off, "Get off of me, you disgusting freak."

But Dream hung on, even after Sapnap tried kicking him down and shoving him back. The latter was being beaten by some guy who had been in prison for ages. This was embarrassing. He could practically hear George's friendly call of, "Try a little harder, will you?"

"Get off of me!" Sapnap spat, raising one hand to forcefully pry Dream's fingers away from his wrist. The grip softened and the fingers uncurled from Sapnap's skin and retreated. Immediately, the latter noticed the tingle that seemed to vanish from his skin when Dream pulled away. That made him angry. He didn't love Dream.

"You're terrible," Sapnap breathed, suddenly feeling very angry and intense, "I fucking hate you, you're the scum of the Earth."

"Sap," Dream's voice quieted, "Please, just, listen."

Sapnap took a shaky inhale, then lowered his axe, "Fine. I'm listening."

"I..." Dream looked away and Sapnap could hear the tremble of his breath, "I love you. I thought about what, what we could be, what we were supposed to be, so much, inside of the prison."

"I don't-"

Dream's fingers were on Sapnap's lips which made a shudder run through the latter, "Shh, let me finish."

"I, I need you," Dream eventually decided on the words, "I need you more than anything. I'm sorry, I know I hurt you, and I hurt everyone, but, I love you. And I want you."

"No, you don't." As Sapnap said the words, the fingers on his lips shook, probably from the warmth of his breath.

"I do," Dream took a step forward, "I really, really do. I know you want me, too."

"You don't love me," Sapnap stepped away, depriving Dream of any warmth and readying his axe, "You're a liar, you're a good-for-nothing liar."

"Pandas," the nickname made Sapnap's heart jump inside of his chest, spiking into hard beats and something warm blooming inside of him. He lowered his axe on instinct. Pandas. It made him feel safe. It made him feel secure. Like he was being held in the cold whipping wind. His heart melted a little bit.

"Pandas," the word was whispered again, and this time Dream was coming in slow strides towards Sapnap, whose breath shook. He shouldn't love it so much, he shouldn't want to hear that nickname on his enemy's lips.

"Dream," Sapnap simply responded, lowering his axe even further. Dream was right here in front of him. Close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss. Close enough to love. His body trembled. A deep yearning stretched through him, an ache that festered in his chest, a cold that longed to be warmed, a flame begging for more kindling.

He took a deep breath, "Let me see your face."

"Wha...?" Dream sounded baffled but had no time to react as Sapnap's fingers flew up behind his head and fumbled with the straps keeping Dream's mask on his face and quickly loosened them, moving his hand to catch the mask.

Dream looked awful. His eyes had become deepened with dark bags and lost all of their emerald shine. His skin wasn't taken care of, and his lips were chapped. Sapnap let his hand holding the mask fall to the side as he took it all in. Dream looked truly hideous and broken here. This was the face of a man who had been in prison for months, absolutely. Sapnap didn't know if he should continue staring or just give Dream the mask back.

"I'm sorry," Dream whispered, and Sapnap felt the urge to bury him in a hug and reassure him that it wasn't his fault. Sapnap shivered, stepping closer to Dream. He was about to do something wrong. He was about to do something he would regret in enough time. He was about to do something that he'd beat himself up for until the end of time. A gentle "Sapnap?" fell from Dream's lips, but the subject didn't say anything as he stepped even closer. Dream smelled like fire, but he also smelled homey. Something familiar and strong clung to his clothes, despite everything. Despite the prison.

He didn't want to lie. He didn't want to spit harsh words just to keep his feelings bound into his chest in the tight bundle someone might call his heart. It ached. It burned Sapnap alive to push down the feelings and thoughts. Truth. He needed the truth.

He leaned his head onto Dream's chest, both of his hands already occupied so he couldn't add his hands to this touch, "I missed you."

Dream kept his touch away, except to gently rub at Sapnap's hair, "I missed you too."

"No, Dream," Sapnap said, because now he was actually started to tear up and he could feel the ache in his cheeks. It hurt, it hurt so bad, "I-" he choked on his words, "I _missed_ you."

"I know, I did too."

The touch on top of his head burned his scalp, the tingly ache spreading through Sapnap's entire body. Was he sobbing? Or was he even breathing at all? Maybe he had already lost the life and his body was trying to respawn while his brain fed him an endless amount of lies. He trembled, choking on his own saliva as he stepped closer, "You're a monster."

"I know," Dream's voice sounded so calm, so rational at hearing the accusation. So long ago, Dream would react to that with an offended wheeze and immediately begin rambling about how he's actually a hero. Now, he just sounded bleak as he accepted it.

"I hate you, I shouldn't- want to feel like this for you," Sapnap tried to rationalize out loud. It felt so difficult to explain. Loving Dream felt wrong. The way his skin melted when Dream's met it, or ached when the touch moved away was _wrong._

"I know," the tone was simply dejected.

Sapnap stepped back shakily. He stared up at a hopeless, broken face. One that made his heart flip and sing so long ago. Well, it still did.

A hand came up to the side of his face. Dream's. It felt much more delicate than it used to, but it still held all of the old strength. Sapnap's heart dove into his stomach. He yearned for the exact way Dream's fingers crooked against his face and cradled his cheek with a soft touch. His hands were always so strong, but gentle, holding Sapnap in ways that made his head spin. Sapnap looked up at Dream, whose eyebrows were slightly raised, who was shifting forward, who leaned his forehead down into Sapnap's.

They could kiss. They could kiss and Sapnap would like it. He would love it. He would be perfectly content with kissing a monster. 

"Sapnap," Dream's voice was gentle, "What do you feel for me?"

"I hate you," Though the response was immediate and instictual, Sapnap's voice shook as he said it, along with his entire body. He could feel the rage mounting once more.

"You don't," Dream simply responded, "Tell the truth."

"No," Sapnap's voice dropped to a whisper and he looked away, his own words getting strangled up in his throat, "I can't."

"You can," Dream softly encouraged, running his thumb along Sapnap's cheek, "I know you can."

He wanted to. He wanted to scream his thoughts to Dream and admit how he felt in the most heartfelt way he could. But he just...couldn't. Something held him back from admitting it. A sharp pain stabbed him in the chest. He had to escape. He had to get away. A hand, the one with the mask, was on Dream's chest.

"Sapnap."

The subject's heart stopped for what seemed to be the millionth time today. He dropped the mask onto the ground, falling silently onto the grass beneath them. Sapnap's axe was on the ground, the stripped wood just barely visible beneath the green.

And then the two were kissing.

Sapnap let Dream's lips meet his steadily. It was a manuever familiar to them from dozens of "platonic" or "test" kisses in the past just so they could sit and deny their feelings. They knew everything about each other's hands and bodies, how the two could meet in a brilliant supernova of love. It was always unfamiliar, kissing in a place with no balance, but Sapnap didn't care. All he could register was Dream's hands and warmth against his body, touching him, feeling him, _loving_ him. Tears pushed themselves out of his eyes as the two did their dance of death together, arms locking around waists and tears rolling down cheeks. When Sapnap pulled away, he could see the sparkling wetness that gathered on his friend's skin, and the two stared at each other for a while. They were both so vulnerable here, but they didn't care.

Dream opened his mouth to say something, but it was closed a moment later. The two could only stare at each other.

"Pandas?" Dream asked after a while, "What are you thinking about?"

"You," Sapnap said back, pulling Dream closer to him. God, he felt so warm and giddy. His blood was liquid fire in his veins, making him dizzy and ecstatic. He stared into those complex green eyes, and recalled hours of the two kissing on the pathway to the Community House, shoulder-to-shoulder, chest-to-chest, arms tight around each other's waist and claiming it to be friendship. Friends could be close, but what they both held for each other wasn't friendship. But they were too terrified to speak on it. And once all the wars came, it was hard to find a moment where they could talk about anything normal, much less complicated emotional feelings. It seemed silly to try and confess about a crush when a country is in the process of being blown up.

But here they were. Sorting those feelings out. While Dream was a wanted criminal and Sapnap was supposed to be killing him. How exciting.

But isn't that what they wanted their love story to always be?

**Author's Note:**

> hi! I hope you enjoyed this work! If you liked it, drop a kudos and a comment. It helps me out a ton and I truly do appreciate it. also, I post other writing on my tumblr, hit me up over there @gaseth


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